I came across an article a couple of months ago entitled “29 Things Only A Woman With Menopause Would Understand” and it aggravated me. Read on to find out why I was not happy…….
1. The way you carry your weight changes in menopause — you go from junk in your trunk to having it under your hood.
Moxie: When estrogen gets too low, no matter how old a woman is, menopause or not, she will become insulin resistant, lose muscle mass, and will never get rid of that gut and upper arm fat. Women with adequate levels of estrogen, no matter how old a woman is, does not have this problem.
2. When you have a menopause hot flash, you wish you could run naked in the snow.
Moxie: Women with optimal levels of estrogen do not have hot flashes. Hot flashes happen to women at any age if their estrogen gets too low, and men will get hot flashes when their testosterone takes a nosedive. Restore estrogen to healthy levels and never have another hot flash. A woman doesn’t have to be in menopause to get a hot flash.
3. You have perpetual heartburn, so you top everything you eat with Rolaid
Moxie: Women with healthy levels of estrogen do not get menopause, heartburn or have acid reflux. No matter how old a woman is, if her estrogen is too low, she will get heartburn and no over-the-counter product will eliminate it.
4. Insomnia gets so bad that you can be seen on street corners jonesing for Ambien.
Moxie: Women with optimal levels of estrogen do not have insomnia problems. Ever. Women with low levels of estrogen will always have a difficult time falling and staying asleep.
5. Your favorite song lyric is “Jumpin’ Hot Flash, I got gas, gas, gas.”
Moxie: Women with reproductive levels of estrogen do not have flatulence unless they eat a can of beans. It’s part of the gut and yeast overgrowth issues that happen with estrogen deficiency. Restore estrogen to healthy levels and tooting goes away.
6. Your annual checkup reveals that you have gained 10 pounds and shrunk an inch.
Moxie: Women will continuously gain weight, especially around the middle, the lower estrogen gets. She doesn’t have to be in menopause. No matter how old a woman is, if her estrogen is too low, she will get fat. When estrogen is at reproductive levels, women will drop fat and keep it off without it being an ongoing issue or continuous dieting.
7. When the Wicked Witch in the “Wizard of Oz” screams, “I’m melting!” you know she’s not dying—she’s just having a hot flash.
Moxie: Women with adequate estrogen don’t have this problem.
8. When you drive in traffic, you have to turn the radio down to see clearly.
Moxie: When estrogen is optimal, women can’t turn the radio high enough to hear her favorite song. When estrogen is low, music is annoying.
9. You have to put your glasses on to hear.
Moxie: When estrogen is at healthy levels, the body isn’t in a state of deterioration and decay so eyesight and hearing aren’t on the decline as women without adequate estrogen. Women in menopause get deterioration and decay in every aspect of their body.
10. You lose your glasses, only to find them on top of your head.
Moxie: Women with adequate levels of estrogen don’t have short term memory issues.
11. Every time you sneeze, you wet your pants.
Moxie: Women with reproductive levels of estrogen don’t have allergies or incontinent issues.
12. Spanx is your best friend.
Moxie: Estrogen levels dictate whether a woman will have a pooch belly or a flat belly.
13. Your skin itches so badly you feel like you need a flea collar.
Moxie: One of the first things that happen to a woman’s body when her estrogen tanks is she loses the ability to produce or retain fluids she needs to function healthily. Our skin, gum tissue, vaginal tissue, hair, nails, eyes, and other areas of the body are prone to respond when no more fluids are available to function without pain or consequence. Women with healthy levels of estrogen don’t have itchy, crawling skin, dry eyes, brittle hair, splitting nails, shriveled up vaginas, or periodontal diseases.
14. You’re so exhausted that 9 p.m. is the new midnight.
Moxie: Let’s be honest, you may be tired, but no one is getting any quality sleep with low levels of estrogen. Women with adequate levels of estrogen don’t have energy or sleep issues.
15. When you do sleep, you wake up tired and can’t help wondering if you would’ve been better off doing something else.
Moxie: Women with low levels of estrogen always wake up feeling like they didn’t sleep at all, almost feeling worse than when they did when they went to bed. When estrogen is too low, women will not have the ability to get into their level 4 (REM) sleep in order to wake up feeling rested and ready to take on their day. Women with reproductive levels of estrogen have no problem falling asleep within 5-7 minutes and staying asleep throughout the night, not even waking to go to the bathroom, and waking up ready to take on their day.
16. When you go to the grocery store, you get a shopping cart to push your purse.
Moxie: Women with adequate levels of estrogen don’t have brain fog issues. Period.
17. You have to clean the seat in public restrooms because you no longer have the thighs to hover.
Moxie: When estrogen is low, women lose the ability to retain, produce, or use fluids for function. One of the things that happen when women don’t have access to fluids in the body is the muscles atrophy, shrivel, and shrink. When muscles shrink they’re no longer strong or able endure physical strain for any length of time no matter what muscle it is, the quadriceps or the heart, leading to weakness and spasms. Women with healthy levels of estrogen do not have these issues.
18. One day you take a nap and wake up to discover you have a goatee.
Moxie: The more hormonally out of balance a woman is will dictate how much facial hair she will have. Women with reproductive levels of estrogen do not have facial hair. Women with low estrogen have facial hair.
19. Your “turkey neck” is getting so bad that when you hear that the president will pardon a turkey at Thanksgiving, you’re worried it will be you.
Moxie: Skin elasticity and collagen production are a direct result of estrogen levels. Women with low estrogen, no matter how old they are, will have skin issues of all kinds and have an inability to produce subcutaneous fat and collagen. Higher estrogen levels up regulate collagen receptors and smooth out the face eliminating the turkey neck phenomenon.
20. You know that you’ve forgotten something, but you can’t remember what it was.
Moxie: Women with enough estrogen do not have memory issues. Ever.
21. Your underarm keeps waving goodbye long after you stop.
Moxie: Women in there twenties don’t have this issue and the only difference between a 25 year old woman and a 55 year old woman is her levels of estrogen. Healthy estrogen levels keep muscles tone and shapely.
22. Your fingernails are so soft that they bend and break, but your toenails are so dry and hard, they look like Fritos.
Moxie: Women with healthy estrogen levels do not have nail issues because there are enough fluids in the body to nourish hair, skin, and nails. It’s not how much water you drink that determines hair, skin, and nails, it really a woman’s estrogen levels. Women in there twenties don’t have this problem unless her estrogen is too low.
23. You wake up so stiff, you almost reach for an oil can.
Moxie: Because fluids are so low for women in menopause, muscles and joints don’t get replenished to allow fluidity in movement and joints. Women with healthy levels of estrogen don’t have this problem.
24. Night sweats give a whole new meaning to “wetting the bed.”
Moxie: Women in menopause have night sweats. Women with adequate levels of estrogen don’t have night sweats. Night sweats happened to men and women when they lose their main-sex hormones like estrogen and testosterone. If these hormones are properly restored, no body will ever have another night sweat again.
25. Your thinning hair has you considering a comb-over.
Moxie: Women with enough estrogen don’t have hair-thinning problems. The lower estrogen gets, the thinner a woman’s hair gets. Restore estrogen; restore your hair in many ways. Women in menopause have thin hair because of no estrogen.
26. To flash people at Mardi Gras, you only have to raise your shirt two inches.
Moxie: Women in menopause have saggy boobs. No matter how old a woman is, her boobs will look like deflated banana boobs if she doesn’t have enough estrogen. When estrogen is restored, so are boobs.
27. You can’t tell your goose bumps apart from your skin tags.
Moxie: Women in menopause have skin tags and barnacles. Women with adequate estrogen don’t have skin tags.
28. As soon as you pull your pants up after a bathroom visit, you have to pee again.
Moxie: In menopause, the body begins to fall apart in a state of decay the lower estrogen gets no matter how old she is. One of the degenerative diseases is the atrophy of the bladder. Women with healthy levels of estrogen don’t have these issues. She doesn’t have to be in menopause but have low estrogen.
29. The only thing with any elasticity is the waistband of your sweatpants.
Moxie: Menopause women get fat. Estrogen levels decide elasticity in a woman. The lower the estrogen, the less elastic she is, physically and mentally. Healthy levels of estrogen give women more elasticity physically and mentally.